Love
Sri Aurobludo:
I suppose "love" expresses something more intense than goodwill which can include mere liking or affection. But whether love or goodwill the human feeling is always either based on or strongly mixed with ego,
— that is why it cannot be pure. It is said in the Upanishad, "One does not love the wife for the sake of the wife", or the child or friend etc. as the case maybe, "but for one's self's sake one loves the wife". There is usually a hope of return, of benefit or advantage of some kind, or of certain pleasures and gratifications, mental, vital or physical that the person loved can give. Remove these things and the love very soon sinks, diminishes or disappears or turns into anger, reproach, indifference or even hatred. But there is also an element of habit, something that makes the presence of the person loved a sort of necessity because it has always been there — and this is sometimes so strong that even in spite of entire incompatibility of temper, fierce an tagonism, something like hatred, it lasts and even these gulfs of discord are not enough to make the persons part; in other cases, this feeling is more tepid and after a time one gets accustomed to separation or accepts a substitute. There is again often the element of some kind of spontaneous attrac tion or affinity — mental, vital or physical, which gives a stron ger cohesion to the love. Lastly, there is in the highest or deepest kind of love the psychic element which comes from the inmost heart and soul, a kind of inner union or self-giv ing or at least a seeking for that, a tie or an urge independentof other conditions or elements, existing for its own sake arid not for any mental, vital or physical pleasure, satisfaction, interest or habit. But usually the psychic element in human love, even where it is present, is so much mixed, overloaded and hidden under the others that it has little chance of fulfill ing itself or achieving its own natural purity and fullness. What is called love is therefore sometimes one thing, some times another, most often a confused mixture, and it is im possible to give a general answer to the questions you put as to what is meant by love in such and such a case. It depends on the persons and the circumstances.
When the love goes towards the Divine, there is still this ordinary human element in it. There is the call for a return and if the return does not seem to come, the love may sink; there is the self-interest, the demand for the Divine as a giver of all that the human being wants and, if the demands are not ac ceded to, abhimana against the Divine, loss of faith, loss of fervour, etc., etc. But the true love for the Divine is in its fun damental nature not of this kind, but psychic and spiritual. The psychic element is the need of the inmost being for self- giving, love, adoration, union which can only be fully satis fied by the Divine. The spiritual element is the need of the being for contact, merging, union with its own highest and whole self and source of being and consciousness and bliss, the Divine. These two are two sides of the same thing. The mind, vital, physical can be the supports and recipients of this love, but they can be fully that only when they become remoulded in harmony with the psychic and spiritual elements of the being and no longer bring in the lower insistences of the ego.
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The Mother:
The movement of love is not limited to human beings and it is perhaps less distorted in other worlds than in the human. Look at the flowers and trees. When the sun sets and all be- comes silent, sit down for a moment and put yourself into communion with Nature: you will feel rising from the earth, from below the roots of the trees and mounting upward and coursing through their fibres, up to the highest outstretching branches, the aspiration of an intense love and longing,
— a longing for something that brings light and gives happiness, for the light that is gone and they wish to have back again. There is a yearning so pure and intense that if you can feel the movement in the trees, your own being too will go up in an ardent prayer for the peace and light and love that are unmanifested here.*
Love is universal and eternal; it is always manifesting it self and always identical in its essence. And it is a Divine Force; for the distortions we see in its apparent workings belong to its instruments. Love does not manifest in human beings alone; it is everywhere. Its movement is there in plants, perhaps in the very stones; in the animals it is easy to detect its presence. All the deformations of this great and divine Power come from the obscurity and ignorance and selfish ness of the limited instrument. Love, the eternal force, has no clinging, no desire, no hunger for possession, no self-regard ing attachment; it is, in its pure movement, the seeking for union of the self with the Divine, a seeking absolute and re gardless of all other things. Love divine gives itself and asks Love 99
for nothing. What human beings have made of it, we do not need to say; they have turned it into an ugly and repulsive thing. And yet even in human beings the first contact of love does bring down something of its purer substance; they become capable for a moment of forgetting themselves, for a moment its divine touch awakens and magnifies all that is fine and beau tiful. But afterwards there comes to the surface the human na ture, full of its impure demands, asking for something in ex change, bartering what it gives, clamouring for its own inferior satisfactions, distorting and soiling what was divine.
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...the best way when love comes, in whatever form it may be, is to try and pierce through its outer appearance and find the divine principle which is behind and which gives it exist ence. Naturally, it is full of snares and difficulties, but it is more effective. That is to say, instead of ceasing to love be- cause one loves wrongly, one must cease to love wrongly and want to love well.
For instance, love between human beings, in all its forms, the love of parents for children, of children for parents, of brothers and sisters, of friends and lovers, is all tainted with ignorance, selfishness and all the other defects which are man's ordinary drawbacks; so instead of completely ceasing to love
— which, besides, is very difficult as Sri Aurobindo says, which would simply dry up the heart and serve no end— one must learn how to love better: to love with devotion, with self-giving, self-abnegation, and to struggle, not against love itself, but against its distorted forms: against all forms of monopolising, of attachment, possessivenes, jealousy, and
all the feelings which accompany these main movements. Not to want to possess, to dominate; and not to want to im pose one's will, one's whims, one's desires; not to want to take, to receive, but to give; not to insist on the other's re sponse, but be content with one's own love; not to seek one's personal interest and joy and the fulfilment of one's personal desire, but to be satisfied with the giving of one's love and affection; and not to ask for any response. Simply to be happy to love, nothing more.
If you do that, you have taken a great stride forward and can, through this attitude, gradually advance farther in the feeling itself, and realise one day that love is not something personal, that love is a universal divine feeling which mani fests through you more or less finely, but which in its es sence is something divine.
Qualities of a Monitor and Instructor
Aurobindo:
...More important still is the custom of discipline, obedi order, habit of team-work, which certain games neces sitate. For without them success is uncertain or impossible. innumerable are the activities in life, especially in national
in which leadership and obedience to leadership in com ed action are necessary for success, victory in combat or
of a purpose. The role of the leader, the captain, e power and skill of his leadership, his ability to command confidence and ready obedience of his followers is of the
Litmost importance in all kinds of combined action or enter- rise; but few can develop these things without having learnt
selves to obey and to act as one mind or as one body others. This strictness of training, this habit of disci pline and obedience is not inconsistent with individual free dom; it is often the necessary condition for its right use, just as order is not inconsistent with liberty but rather the condi tion for the right use of liberty and even for its preservation and survival. In all kinds of concerted action this rule is in- dispensable: orchestration becomes necessary and there could be no success for an orchestra in which individual musicians played according to their own fancy and refused to follow the indications of the conductor.
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The Mother:
Personality Traits of a Successful Teacher
1. Complete self-control not only to the extent of not showing any anger, but remaining absolutely quiet and undisturbed under all circumstances.
2. In the matter of self-confidence, must also have a sense of the relativity of his importance.
Above all, must have the knowledge that the teacher himself must always progress if he wants his students to progress, must not remain satisfied either with what he is or with what he knows.
3. Must not have any sense of essential superiority over his students nor preference or attachment whatsoever for one or another.
4. Must know that all are equal spiritually and instead of mere tolerance must have a global comprehension or understanding.
Is it possible to teach the ideal to those who do not under stand it, and how can it be taught to them?Are we, instuctors and teachers, worthy of this formidable task?
What we want to teach is not only a mental ideal, it is a new idea of life and a realisation of consciousness. This realisation is new to all, and the only true way to teach others is to live according to this new consciousness oneself and to allow oneself to be tranformed by it. There is no better lesson than that of an example. To tell others: "Do not be selfish," is not much use, but if somebody is free from all selfishness, he
becomes a wonderful example to others; and someone who sincerely aspires to act in accordance with the Supreme Truth, creates a kind of contagion for the people around him. So the first duty of all those who are teachers or instructors is to give an example of the qualities they teach to others.
And if, among these teachers and instructors, some are not worthy of their post, because by their character they give a bad example, their first duty is to become worthy by chang ing their character and their action; there is no other way.
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...as a general and absolute rule, the teachers and espe cially the physical education instructors must be a constant living example of the qualities demanded from the students; discipline, regularity, good manners, courage, endurance, pa tience in effort, are taught much more by example than by words. And as an absolute rule: never to do in front of a child what you forbid him to do.
For the rest, each case implies its own solution, and one must act with tact and discemment.
That is why to be a teacher or an instructor is the best of all disciplines, if one knows how to comply with it.